Still Standing

After Judy and Bill order Lauren to drop basic math and take a more difficult algebra class, her bad attitude about schoolwork multiplies and the conflict between Lauren and her parents increases exponentially. Judy and Bill then try to solve the problem using the art of negotiation.

Bill is extremely excited to teach nearly 16-year-old Brian how to drive. So excited, in fact, that after their first lesson, Bill takes the money he and Judy have saved for a new family car and buys a used 1981 "party van." In other happenings, Judy decides to pass along some of her old threads from the '70s to Lauren, who keeps bugging her parents for money so that she can buy vintage clothing. Lauren: Renee Olstead.

Judy's role as PTA committee chairperson nets her a pool-party invite. But her newfound popularity may be sunk when she suggests the hosts' son borrowed a condom from Brian (Taylor Ball), who obtained it from Bill.

Bill and Judy's elation over Brian and Lauren entering the workforce for the first time quickly turns into frustration when both the teens go out of the way to bond with their new bosses. Bill and Judy can't stand the sudden interest the kids are taking in things they've tried (and failed) for years to convince their offspring to enjoy, like Led Zeppelin and baking brownies.

Bill assumes Lauren was chosen to perform a monologue in a theater production at school because the drama instructor, with whom Bill once had a summer fling, is still harboring unresolved romantic feelings. To Bill's surprise, Judy encourages her hubby to milk the teacher's crush for all it's worth.

Judy's motherly instincts tell her that Lauren's new trio of friends are a bad influence, a suspicion that seems to be confirmed when Lauren's caught shoplifting a bracelet at the mall. Although Bill is first inclined to believe his daughter's claims of innocence, he has a change of heart when a brand-new MP3 player shows up in his little girl's bedroom.

Bill's turning 40, which should be a time of celebration in the Miller home, but for the fact that Brian is upset at his dad for disclosing to Judy the embarrassing details of a private father-son discussion they had about the body changes of puberty.

Eager to relive their glory days, chaperones Bill and Judy are excited about a teen dance with an '80s theme. The same can't be said of Brian, who's dateless after following his mom's relationship advice. Meanwhile, Bill gives a few pointers on the birds and bees to a football player (Aaron Hill), who then makes a move on Lauren.

Bill gets the bright idea to have Lauren (Renee Olstead) profile her Aunt Linda for a school report on role models, which leads to Lauren helping Linda fulfill her dream of designing and selling fashions for goose lawn ornaments. Meanwhile, Judy becomes jealous of the time that her little sis and eldest daughter are spending together and spitefully dismisses their business venture, predicting it will lay an egg.

The Millers meet Lauren's new boyfriend's parents, whom they find unbelievably dorky and weird, and make up a lie to get out of spending anymore time together. But they later regret it when they realize they're setting a bad example for the kids. Ted Halverson: Kevin Nealon. Kathy: Marin Mazzie. Matthew: Sean Kelly Magner.

The Millers want to spend Christmas Eve at home feasting on the holiday dinner Judy's always dreamed of preparing, but Bill's mother (Sally Struthers) isn't happy with those plans and gives them a guilt trip about visiting her tiny new apartment instead. Elsewhere, Linda decides to make life merrier for someone who's less fortunate when it comes to personal style.

Judy's parents arrive from Indiana to take the kids on a three-day trip, but cancel it when they think Judy is coming down with a cold and needs lots of TLC. While Judy enjoys being coddled back to health, Bill, Brian and Lauren must pick up the slack and perform all of the household chores.

Being the statistician for the school basketball team gives Brian an in with some of the more popular kids, until Bill finds out they're being nice because his son runs their errands. So he evens the score with them by getting them in trouble with their parents after a night of partying.

While visiting from Florida, Bill's macho father, Al (Paul Sorvino), decides he wants to spend some quality time with his son so he makes plans to re-create a past bow hunting trip he took Bill on as a child to toughen the boy up. Brian, meanwhile, sharpens his math skills as he prepares to compete in the Math Olympics.

Judy accompanies Bill to the restaurant he enjoys frequenting with his buddies and discovers the attraction isn't the food but the attractive, flirtatious waitresses. Although Judy says she isn't jealous, she would like Bill to admit his true motives for dining there.

Bill and Judy are afraid that Louise (Sally Struthers) may be bilked out of her life savings by her new gentleman friend, who works as an investment counselor to senior citizens. So, the Miller twosome arrange to have dinner with the guy, during which they start to put aside their worries about him---until he squeezes Judy's rear end. Johnny: Clyde Kusatsu. Linda: Jennifer Irwin.

Bill tries to pry Brian away from his nerdy friends and get him to become closer companions with Fitz's athletic son, Scotty (Benjamin Knapple). However, this match-up doesn't work out quite as planned when Scotty reveals that he is gay and interested in going out on a date with Brian. Meanwhile, Lauren wants to prevent Judy from making a fool of herself during a step-dance performance at the St. Patrick's Day parade.

Brian takes a part-time job where Bill works to earn money for a tutor, but he soon adopts his dad's bad ethics and drops the notion of needing study help at all. Meanwhile, Linda persuades Lauren to double-date with her so she can spend more time with a divorced father who insists on bringing along his son on their dates. Danny: Joel Murray. Mack: John Marshall Jones. Customer: Steve Seagren.

Bill defends his masculinity when he accidentally smashes Tina's dollhouse. He vows to repair it himself even though Judy doesn't believe he can do it on his own without her help.

Bill and Judy are jealous when they learn that a neighbor's house is the cool hang-out for teens, so they turn their garage into a fun center to coax the kids over to their home. Ted: Kevin Nealon. Kathy: Marin Mazzie. Matt: Shawn Pyfrom. Becca: Lauren Schaffel. Neal: Timothy Bumatay. Eric: Vinnie Pergola.

Bill and Judy spy on Brian and Lauren after they become suspicious that the two are making secret plans and covering up for each other. When they search the kids' bedrooms, they discover fake IDs, a box filled with money and a receipt from a tattoo parlor. Tattoo Artist: Vince Neil.

Tina is invited to a birthday party at the home of former NFL star Willie Gault, but she doesn't want to attend so Bill and Judy go without her, and accidentally leave with Gault's Super Bowl ring. Himself: Mike Tomczak. Himself: Tim Wrightman. Karen: Nicole Randall Johnson.

Brian moves out of the house and into the garage following an argument with his parents over how late he can stay out. Meanwhile, Lauren dreams of becoming a professional singer.