Next Episode of Stupid Man, Smart Phone is
Russell Kane is crossing into the deadly Arctic Circle, travelling as far north as he can go - desperate for a cheeky peek at the legendary and beautiful Northern Lights. His mission partners are YouTube's beguiling wife and wife team - Rose and Rosie. Completely bereft of any survival skills or knowledge of the local customs or language, they're wandering the frozen wilds with just their mobile phone in the hope that it will prevent them freezing to death. But can the phone help them reach remotest Norway in order to get the best seats to view the hauntingly beautiful aurora borealis (Northern Lights)?To triumph they'll need to squeeze every megabit out of their phones. They'll refer to online experts for assistance, and their social media followers for help. But for Russell, it will be hard to separate the good advice from the offensive - and somewhat ignorant - trolling!They'll summon the full power of the internet to video call a sexy gun-toting survivalist for fire-starting advice, and beg their followers to identify the edible berries from the deadly. Their biggest challenge comes when their sat nav takes them to what seems to be the home of a family of serial killers. Has their phone sent them down the wrong path, or is the freezing cold getting to them? Can the internet conquer dog-sledding, indigestion-inducing reindeer blood pancakes, and the world's smelliest food - or should it just stick to helping us put up shelves and leave it at that?
The Maleku tribe set the mission, which would be easy if it wasn't for deadly bullet ants, giant abseils and fast river crossings. Oh, and the fact that, for this task, internet reception rarely gets above one bar. Battling humidity and monsoon, the lads will have to convert their phones into multi-tools - using their backlights to attract grasshoppers for dinner - and rely on the inbuilt compass to navigate them safely back to civilisation.
He's climbing the Italian Dolomite Mountains without any training or experience. He's joined by internet comedian, Humza Arshad, who has hardly ventured out the UK, let alone conquered a mountain range - and one that claimed thousands of lives during WWI.
They'll be clinging to their mobile phones for dear life as they dangle from sheer rock faces, try to digest goat entrails and nose-dive a helicopter, all in an ill-fated bid to prove that internet is harder than mountain.
They'll use the phone in any way they know how: video-calling experts, referring to YouTube survivalists and how-to sites, and calling upon their Twitter followers - anything.
By relying on satnav over a traditional map, the duo find themselves in a derelict, deserted town. There, they video call a teenage doomsday-prepper who helps them convert rubbish into treasure by giving them warmth. But can their phone help them hotwire a motorbike or drive a military tank?
They'll quickly need to learn how to camouflage themselves to avoid getting chewed up by the guard's dogs. But perhaps their biggest challenge comes in the shape of having to make a choice between starving to death or skinning a rabbit the size of a domestic cat.
Dropped off by a gruff fisherman on a Costa Rican island, Russell Kane must tool up with enough internet knowledge to escape nature's clutches, navigate the seas and find his way back to civilisation. All with just his mobile phon
For he is convinced that as long as he chooses his partner carefully, the duo can survive with no survival skills or knowledge of the local language and customs, because a smartphone has all the answers they'll need. But will they be able to video-call, YouTube, Google, How-To and search their way to civilised life?
His chosen companion this time comes in the shape of snowboarding heroine and Olympian Jenny Jones. She brings with her an array of very capable online followers, but can they help when it counts? Russell and Jenny, these ‘internet explorers', will discover that paradise is actually sun-scorched and teeming with deadly scorpions and snakes. As they're slowly cooked they'll call down knowledge from The Cloud to help them spearfish, cobble together a raft, and remove the head from Central America's hardest sea creature.
Only the internet can prevent this journey from turning sour, as Russell and bikini-clad Jenny realise this will not be a beach holiday, but the hardest survival mission of all.
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