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In this spoof of World War II, René Artois runs a café in German-occupied France. He always seems to have his hands full: He's having affairs with most of his waitresses, he's keeping his wife happy, he's trying to please the German soldiers who frequent his café, and he's running a major underground operation for the Resistance.

Genres: Comedy | War
Station: BBC One (UK)
Rating: 0/10 from 0 users
Status: Ended
Start: 1982-12-30

'Allo 'Allo! Season 5 Air Dates


S05E01 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeons Air Date: 03 September 1988 18:20 -

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Helga and Von Smallhausen rescue Herr Flick from prison where he is being held (disguised as stenographer Irma Von Kinkenrotten ) by General Von Klinkerhoffen. Rene is forced to assist - who else, after all, can masquerade as Heinrich Himmler, head of the Gestapo?


S05E02 - The Camera in the Potato Air Date: 10 September 1988 18:20 -

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Once Rene has been rescued from prison (disguised as stenographer Irma Von Kinkenrotten) and Mimi has stolen the colonel's film (while he is being distracted by Yvette with some wet celery) and Michelle of the Resistance has delivered the secret camera (disguised as a potato), all that remains for Rene to do is to find Gruber's bedroom and photograph the safe containing the plans for the German invasion of England!


S05E03 - Dinner with the General Air Date: 17 September 1988 18:20 -

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Rene's photograph of the safe in Gruber's bedroom (containing the plans for the German invasion of England) is identified by Leclerc as a Kaisenhoff Rosenbaum Swartzburger 16-Lever Multi-Counter Mark Three. Leclerc and Rene are to blow the safe; Edith is to create a diversion by dropping a smoke cannister down Gruber's chimney. Now, was it the third or the fourth chimney counting from the west?


S05E04 - The Dreaded Circular Saw Air Date: 24 September 1988 17:45 -

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Rene and Leclerc manage to crack open the safe in Lieutenant Gruber's bedroom - but instead of the plans for the invasion of England, they find the original Fallen Madonna by VAN CLOMP , and the Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by VAN GOGH. After borrowing Gruber's uniform, they escape with the paintings, only to be taken prisoner by the Communist Resistance. Edith's rescue attempt, using Gruber's tank, is thwarted by the town convenience.


S05E05 - Enter Denise Air Date: 01 October 1988 17:45 -

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Rene is about to suffer foul torture at the hands of Denise Laroque, former lion tamer and now the feared leader of the Communist Resistance, when his strawberry-shaped birthmark is accidentally revealed. She immediately recognises Rene as her long-lost childhood sweetheart and vows to marry him at the earliest opportunity. It seems the last man to turn her down was thrown off the Eiffel Tower....


S05E06 - A Marriage of Inconvenience Air Date: 08 October 1988 17:45 -

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Rene's marriage to Denise Laroque, the feared leader of the Communist Resistance, has been arranged - much to the dismay of Edith, his waitresses and, not least, Lt Gruber. As the wedding day looms ever nearer, various plans are laid to save him from his fate.


S05E07 - Post-Matrimonial Depression Air Date: 15 October 1988 17:45 -

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Disguised as his father, Rene seeks protection from the wrath of Denise Laroque.


S05E08 - The Coming of the Long Distance Duck Air Date: 22 October 1988 17:45 -

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A threat to Edith's life and General Von Klinkerhoffen 's forthcoming meeting to discuss the invasion plans bring Rene out in little lumps.


S05E09 - Watch the Birdie Air Date: 29 October 1988 19:20 -

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With the special apparatus supplied by the Resistance and a diversion created by Edith, Rene sets about photographing the invasion plans.


S05E10 - René Under an Assumed Nose Air Date: 05 November 1988 19:20 -

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When orders are given for Rene to be arrested and shot, Monsieur Leclerc produces some of his best work with explosive results.


S05E11 - The Confusion of the Generals Air Date: 12 November 1988 19:20 -

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Rene, reprieved, heaves a sigh of relief - until, that is, General Von Klinkerhoffen reconvenes the meeting of the generals to discuss the invasion of England.


S05E12 - Who's for the Vatican Air Date: 19 November 1988 19:20 -

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A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to Rene.


S05E13 - Ribbing the Bonk Air Date: 26 November 1988 19:05 -

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Rene and Leclerc escape from the Communist Resistance.


S05E14 - The Reluctant Millionaires Air Date: 03 December 1988 19:20 -

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When it is revealed that the one million francs stolen from the bank belong to Herr Flick of the Gestapo, the best place to hide them seems to be down Rene's trousers.


S05E15 - A Duck for Launch Air Date: 10 December 1988 19:20 -

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Rene has succeeded in getting rid of the stolen Gestapo money and, using the long-distance duck, he should be able to get rid of the microfilm containing the German plans for the invasion of England. But what can he do with the nymphomaniac Communist Resistance girls hiding in his cupboard?


S05E16 - The Exploding Bedpan Air Date: 17 December 1988 19:25 -

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While under interrogation, Alfonse's dicky ticker starts playing up and he is whisked to hospital. He must be either rescued or eliminated before he can spill the beans about the stolen Gestapo money.


S05E17 - Going Like a Bomb Air Date: 24 December 1988 19:30 -

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A new bold, daring crackbrained plan to get the British airmen back to England is hatched by Michelle and Crabtree; the Colonel and Lt Gruber plant the hot Gestapo money on Captain Bertorelli and snitch on him to Herr Flick.


S05E18 - Money to Burn Air Date: 31 December 1988 19:05 -

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Leclerc has been arrested on suspicion of stealing the forged Gestapo million francs and is to be executed unless the money is returned; unfortunately Edith's mother has cooked it in the oven.


S05E19 - Puddings Can Go Off Air Date: 07 January 1989 19:15 -

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Faced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple but daring course of action. It will be hidden in 500 Christmas puddings.


S05E20 - Land Mines for London Air Date: 14 January 1989 19:15 -

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After narrowly escaping being blown up by the 258 exploding Christmas puddings, which are being hidden in the cellar of the cafe, Rene becomes embroiled in another daring plan by the Resistance. This time they are trying to send the two British airmen home in two captured German landmines!


S05E21 - Flight to Geneva Air Date: 21 January 1989 19:15 -

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Rene is ordered to hand over to General Von Klinkerhoffen the two valuable paintings he has been hiding to sell after the war. The General then sells them to a Swedish art expert for a million in gold bars. Rene steals four of these gold bars and tries to elope to Switzerland with Yvette on the night train. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, everyone ends up on the same train!


S05E22 - Train of Events Air Date: 28 January 1989 19:15 -

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Rene is trying to elope with Yvette, and with the four gold bars he stole from General Von Klinkerhoffen , on the night train to Switzerland. However, he finds he has company. In fact everyone seems to be travelling with them. To further thwart his plans, the Resistance are going to blow up the train!


S05E23 - An Enigma Variation Air Date: 04 February 1989 19:15 -

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Rene is still trying to hide the gold he has stolen from General Von Klinkerhoffen ; the Colonel, Gruber and Helga are trying to recover the paintings they had hidden in a statue, which is now in the General's possession. And the Resistance want to steal the Enigma Encoding Machine, also in the General's possession. A dance at the General's chateau gives rise to another plan.


S05E24 - Wedding Bloss Air Date: 11 February 1989 19:15 -

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In the eyes of the world, Rene is supposed to be dead and therefore is masquerading as his twin brother. This means that he is not really married to Edith, and Edith's admirer, Monsieur Alfonse decides to pursue his courtship and propose and she accepts.

The news shocks Rene, not so much because he will lose Edith, but rather because he would lose the cafe and everything in it, including the four bars of gold he has stolen from

General Von Klinkerhoffen. Only one thing can save the situation: Rene must marry Edith ...


S05E25 - Down the Drain Air Date: 18 February 1989 19:15 -

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Rene is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and he decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.


S05E26 - All in Disgeese Air Date: 25 February 1989 19:15 -

Sorry, but right now we don't have any sources for this episode.

René is still harbouring the German Enigma coding machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen; the two British airmen; the painting of the Fallen Madonna by Von Clomp; and the painting of the Cracked Vase with the big daisies by Van Gogh. So the cafe is rather full, and as the story progresses it becomes positively crowded

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