Mystery Science Theater 3000

In Reptilicus. Copenhagen is terrorized by a prehistoric beast that has regenerated itself from a recently discovered tail segment. In the host segments, Gizmonic's crack space pilot Jonah Heston is lured to Moon Base 13 where he is the subject in a series of experiments created by Kinga Forrester to break his spirit by showing him cheesy movies. Only by riffing on the bad movies with the help of his new robot friends Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot can Jonah keep his sanity.

Jonah and the bots take on Cry Wilderness, a creepy story of a boy and his Bigfoot. Meanwhile, Kinga gets a visit from her grandmother and her friends.

Joel and the bots take their shots at The Time Travelers, a 1960s movie about three hapless scientists and their even more hapless assistant, who go through a time portal and find themselves a hundred years in the future with the last of the human race.

A ski resort developer played by Rock Hudson tampers in God's domain and the result is a killer avalanche. Meanwhile, Tom and Servo rehearse Mad Bots, and Gypsy gives a one-robot performance, while Kinga sorta/kinda meets with her long-distance soulmate.

Jonah and the bots take on The Beast of Hollow Mountain, a long slow cowboy-dinosaur movie that seems more interested in cowboy rope opera than the title monster. The latter doesn't show up until an hour into the movie.

The Mads present the 1978 Italian Star Wars knockoff Starcrash, with Caroline Monroe, Marjoe Gortner, Christopher Plummer, and David Hasselhoff embarrassing themselves for life.

"Hi, I'm Doug McClure. You've probably seen me in a stink bomb like The Land That Time Forgot, featuring frozen pterodactyls, rubber dinosaurs, dingy cavemen, and countless scenes of periscopes going up and down."

Jonah and the bots are forced to endure The Loves of Hercules, which features real-life husband-and-wife Jayne Mansfield and Mickey Hargitay as six of the biggest boobs in ancient Greece.

The Mads try to raise a furor over Hitler-brand coffee. They fail. Then it's on with the movie, Yongary, a Korean ripoff of Godzilla that turns surprisingly dark in the last few minutes.

In the first of two movies, a wizard boy dressed in mauve goes on a series of pointless quests with a doughy swordman and a white shag-rug companion.

It's Jonah and the bots vs. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II, a "sequel" to the previous movie that has nothing to do with it. Meanwhile, Kinga gets an idea to seize control of the TV industry and start a family.

After Kinga tells Jonah that he's going to marry her for ratings--or lose his oxygen supply--she springs the experiment on him: Carnival Magic, a movie about a depressed carnival chimp that (barely) talks and his hypnotic magician owner.

Prepare to overdose on whimsy as a depressed Santa and a suspiciously high-spirited lawyer join forces to thwart the evil Prune who has bought the North Pole and plans to make sure that it's The Christmas That Almost Wasn't.

Jonah prepares for his wedding day with Kinga, but first she shows him and the bots At the Earth's Core, complete with a side of big, beefy Doug McClure.