Scot Squad

This episode of the spoof documentary sees Chief Commissioner Miekelson trying out some weapons, getting his portrait painted and doing 'thumbthing' about bigotry. Meanwhile, the rural police deal with a cat stranded in a boat, the urban police aren't fooled by a bluffing burglar and the traffic cops encounter a dozy pedestrian and a sleeping salesman. Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie fines a litterbug on a bridge, Operator Maggie LeBeau tells us about her heroes, and Sergeant Karen Ann Millar is offered fingerprints and some glockenspiel music from local man Bobby Muir.

Traffic officers McKirdy and Singh fall out over issuing a ticket to a family member but make up over some music at the end of their shift. City cops McLaren and Fletcher meet a familiar face while attending a bag snatch, and rural officers Mackay and McIntosh deal with some quarrelsome landowners. Call Centre Operator Maggie LeBeau has some useful advice for homebuyers, Sergeant Karen Ann Millar has to deal with a curry pie and a birthday cake, and Volunteer Officer Beattie finds himself following the leads of five dogs. The Chief explains the importance of listening to the public and the implausibility of some people's names, before heading to London for a press conference to launch a combined Scottish Police Force/London City Force initiative with an old colleague. 

More funny and fantastical tales from the fictional Scottish Police Force. Officers deal with an endless Christmas, a drug dealer's endless excuses and the endless nonsense of local nuisance Bobby Muir.

Plans for a 'Bamnesty' blow up in chief commissioner Miekelson's face as he forces his PR exec Willie Saffron to take it to the press. Unfortunately, his plan for working from home doesn't go well either, and he chats about changing the legal definition of drunk. Traffic officers Singh and McKirdy have their own public relations nightmare over illegally parking to collect a takeaway, but are thoroughly professional when dealing with an illegally parked boat. Desk sergeant Karen Ann Millar advises Bobby on what constitutes lewd and lascivious behaviour, as well as the difference between a back scratcher and a noodle fork. Officers McLaren and Fletcher break up a fight at a supermarket checkout, and in the country, McIntosh and Mackay get involved in a citizen's arrest gone awry. Call centre operator Maggie LeBeau chats about arming the police and dealing with men, while volunteer officer Ken Beattie visits the local ladies of the night.

Traffic Officer Hugh McKirdy becomes starstruck as he and his partner Surjit Singh respond to an incident involving Michelle McManus. They also take us on a tour of the police impound. Having been sure that the Scottish Police Force IT system has been hacked by North Korea, Chief Commissioner Miekelson is both relieved, and a little embarrassed, to discover it was actually the work of the daughter of a woman he was dating. He discusses Freedom of Information before giving an award for bravery then grudgingly receiving an award for public service. Officer McLaren and Fletcher use good police work, and baking skills, to arrest a mobile phone thief, while Maggie LeBeau shows us the Call Centre "Thank You Room" containing gifts from happy customers. Desk Sergeant Karen Ann Millar is surprised by someone in the toilet and helps local man Bobby with his Jury Summons. Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie stands in for a drumming busker and a dodgy tummy won't stop Rural Officers Mackay and McIntosh helping a woman with a break-in at her house.  

While helping a blind man do some shopping, Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie discovers there's more to him than meets the eye. Something that also applies to the old pensioner that Officers McLaren and Fletcher rush to rescue. Then these city cops become intoxicated by the drugs they are meant to be guarding. Maggie LeBeau takes us on a tour of her call centre, Desk Sergeant Karen Ann Millar is confronted by a case of cut-price bananas, and countryside cops McIntosh and Mackay arrest a malicious metal detector. Traffic Officers McKirdy and Singh discover that behind the make-up, a criminal clown has a familiar face. Chief Commissioner Miekelson discusses what the Scottish Police Force do with lost property, before he takes part in a local charity golf match. He then does a post-mortem on his appearance before a committee of MSPs.