Jay marks another birthday in the Season 4 premiere with his customary wish to be left alone, one that won't be granted when Phil takes him fishing with his pals, but it's a day he'll never forget—once Gloria figures out how to tell him she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Dylan moves in with the Dunphys on a temporary basis; and Mitchell and Cameron consider adopting a cat.
The day has arrived for Phil and Claire to drop Haley off at college, which is a difficult moment for any parent, but it's made worse when they manage to really embarrass Haley. Meanwhile, Manny forces Jay and Gloria to take a baby class - they humor him and go, but end up being a bit of a disruption; and Mitch and Cam drop Lily off for the first day of kindergarten, but when she gets into a tussle with another little boy, they end up having a meeting with the boy's confrontational lesbian parents.
Phil and Claire have a five-year plan, and that's to vacation and enjoy life once Luke leaves for college. In order to keep all that on track, Phil is going in for a vasectomy. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria disagree about whether or not to find out the sex of the baby; Gloria is in denial about needing maternity clothes; and now that Lily's in kindergarten, Mitchell tries to gently steer Cameron towards a part-time job to occupy all his extra time.
Luke wants to quit magic and Phil just can't seem to accept it. Meanwhile, one of Gloria's new pregnancy symptoms is snoring and she's keeping the whole house awake, forcing Jay to take desperate measures; and Mitch and Cam's household dynamic is put to the test when they decide to swap duties -- Mitch staying at home with Lily while Cam goes off to work at his new job as the music teacher at Luke and Manny's school --.
Claire has overdone it in Halloweens past and the neighbors definitely don't share her enthusiasm, so this year she's being forced to tone it down and keep it "kid-friendly," and Phil has an idea to hold an open house on Halloween night. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam host a costume party while contending with Lily wondering who her real mom is, and Gloria's pregnancy hormones are on overdrive, making her even more hotheaded than usual.
Jay and Gloria hold a yard sale to help Manny and Luke with their school's charity fundraiser, and the entire family pitches in: Phil feels pressured to both sell and buy something, Mitch and Cam help Claire assess Alex's new 'boy friend,' and Manny finds an old trunk that hides a secret Gloria wants to see remain a secret.
Phil and Claire get the dreaded late night call that Haley has been arrested for under-aged drinking, so they bring Mitchell, the family lawyer, in tow to the police station. Cameron stays back to watch over Alex and Luke, but they get into some crazy mishaps under his care. Meanwhile, Jay gets out of baby shopping with Gloria, but ends up having to deal with a surprise visit from Dede, and tries to scoot her out before Gloria gets home to prevent Dede from seeing that she's pregnant and to avoid the potential blowback.
When Claire takes Manny and Luke along to Alex's academic decathlon for the weekend, Phil attempts to throw together a boys' night at the house, inviting a fellow Bulldog alum he just met -- but their wires are definitely crossed. Meanwhile, the pressure is on for Alex at the decathlon, Manny and Luke bar mitzvah hop at the hotel trying to find a cute girl, and Cam and Mitch arrange for quite the surprise baby gift for Jay and Gloria.
With some urging, Mitch joins in on Cam's efforts to save an old tree in the park, but just how far will they go? Jay and Manny are each pushed beyond their comfort zones when they attend a kid's Olympics-themed birthday party, and Claire brings Gloria along on a Costco run -- but add in a "pregnancy brain" and it makes for quite an eventful trip -- .
Manny and Luke's little league team unexpectedly makes it into a playoff game, so Claire and Cameron scramble to find a location and decide to do a makeover on a rundown field. Inspired, Claire and Cam want to try their hand at flipping a house while they're at it, and Phil and Mitchell fight over who will be the bad guy to tell them no. Meanwhile, Gloria tries a bonding technique by using a microphone to sing to the baby in utero, which definitely incites a reaction from Jay.
Jay is so excited, having planned for the whole family to celebrate New Year's together at this great hotel in Palm Springs. However, when the hotel turns out to be less than stellar, everyone starts to branch off to do their own thing, leaving Jay dejected -- that is until he runs into the one and only Billy Dee Williams! Meanwhile back at home, Haley and Alex watch over the kids, which proves to be quite a challenge.
With the baby coming soon, Jay and Gloria go to great lengths to throw Manny an extra special surprise party for his 14th birthday -- and there are plenty of surprises to go around! Meanwhile, Phil and Claire deal with a new much older guy that Haley has started hanging out with, and Cam becomes jealous of the special bond Lily seems to have with Mitch.
Gloria's mom, Pilar, and sister Sonia have made the voyage from Colombia, and they come bearing traditions, baby names and a whole lot of family baggage. Meanwhile, no one seems to have confidence that Phil will be able to help with the kids' problems, but there just might be a method to his madness. And Lily has picked up some bad habits, so Mitchell and Cameron try their hardest to mind their Ps and Qs to set a good example for her.
Cameron is putting on the school production of "Phantom of the Opera," but when their star falls ill, Manny pulls all the stops to land the lead -- even if that means going against Luke. Meanwhile, Jay teaches Phil to golf and they wind up in a golf-off with Pepper and Mitch; Gloria takes Alex along on errands which include a visit to a psychic; and Claire's adventures in babysitting Joe and Lily become a comedy of errors.
Fun Valentine's Day romp between Phil and Claire's alter egos, Clive Bixby and Juliana, takes an unexpected turn that lands Claire in the hospital and with a diagnosis that she doesn't take lying down. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay's attempts to be romantic keep getting interrupted by the kids, which drives Gloria crazy, and Cam and Mitch host a wild Valentine's Day Lonely Hearts Party that leaves them hung over the next morning, trying to piece together what happened and, more importantly, why Dylan is now living with them.
Claire flies solo to her college reunion and runs into a professor she once dated, but when Phil shows up things get really awkward. Back at home, Jay is obsessed with winning his big bowling tournament, and Gloria is running ragged with the baby but won't admit it. Mitchell offers to take baby Joe for a while, and Cameron seizes the opportunity to use him in one of his elaborate photo shoots. However, a wig malfunction leads to unfortunate results and no one wants to be the one to face Gloria.
Mitch and Cam's best gal pal, Sal, makes one of her notorious surprise drop-ins, but this time with big news - she's getting married - tomorrow! Cam and Mitch are the best men, but they can't help but question whether this party girl can really settle down, and they consider an intervention. Meanwhile, Gloria has trust issues with their new nanny, Claire has a rare bonding moment with Haley, and Phil helps Luke with a girl he likes.
Claire and Cam are entrenched in the house flip, but when they hit an impasse on a big landscaping decision, a "neutral" third party is brought in - Pam, the lesbian mom from Lily's school. Meanwhile, Phil decides to teach the kids basic fix-it skills around the house; Gloria spends some quality one-on-one time with Manny, leaving Jay alone with baby Joe; and Mitch helps Lily deal with a schoolyard bully.
When Phil takes Claire to the hospital for her angiogram, they encounter a family that is basically their future selves, and they're not sure they like what they see. Manny drags Jay on a visit to a prospective private school, and Mitch and Cam organize a fun "girls day" for Gloria and Lily -- but it becomes a spontaneous "cultural day" instead -- .
Phil is pretty confident in his ability to sell Claire and Cam's flipped house, but when it proves to be a little harder than he thought, he recruits the whole family into taking some desperate, borderline crazy measures. Meanwhile, Javier is visiting Manny and brings along his new girlfriend, which doesn't sit very well with Gloria.
Phil is jazzed to share the wonders of residential real estate with Luke and Manny's classmates for career day, but unfortunately for Phil, his nemesis, Gil Thorpe, shows up and things get ugly. Meanwhile, Gloria challenges Jay's claims of always wanting to become a novelist, forcing Jay to take some shameful measures, and Mitch and Cam make a costly mistake while executing tooth fairy duties.
Mitch's ex-boyfriend, Teddy, a very personable and successful doctor, invites the whole family to a fundraising event at the local roller rink, and they all run circles around each other as Cam tries to play it cool around Teddy, Claire avoids talking to Jay about inheriting his closet business, Phil teaches Gloria how to skate in spectacular fashion, Haley helps Alex talk to some cute boys, and amidst all the chaos Manny and Luke try to figure out whom they'll pick in their family for their "My Hero" essay assignment.
Phil gets a brand new RV with high hopes of going on a fun family road trip, and Claire decides to let him learn the hard way why this will likely be a terrible idea. Meanwhile, Manny has misplaced his backpack and Jay and Gloria go with him on a hunt for it, breaking into Claire's house and then into Mitchell's house -- where they do some over-the-top snooping; and Lily's gymnastics meet brings out an unrivaled competitive spirit in Mitch and Cam.
Everyone flies down to Florida to be with Phil after his mom's passing. Claire helps Phil with Gracie's last wish for Frank, and the kids reflect on the gifts grandma left for them. Gloria has to contend with an outstanding arrest warrant in Florida, Cam finds himself fitting right into an elderly women's group at Frank's retirement community, and Jay runs into a pivotal person from his past.