In the Season 7 premiere, Haley tries to stop Andy from proposing to Beth, but the attempt does a number on their emotions. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria look at preschools for Joe, and are shocked by how competitive the process can be; and Cameron remains supportive of Mitchell's midlife career crisis, though he hatches a plan to get his husband's old job back when they start to run out of money.
Alex leaves for college, but gives her parents false information about her move-in day so they can't make a big production out of it. Meanwhile, Luke tries to get out of helping Phil at his open house; and Mitch and Cam feel the stress of being landlords after deciding to rent out their upstairs unit, and the family's excuses for missing Lily's soccer game don't make their lives any easier.
Haley convinces her mom to let Dylan move in, on a temporary basis, with her dad's help, but Phil has second thoughts when he sees just what living together means. Meanwhile, Mitchell gets a consulting job with Jay's biggest rival; and Manny has a girl problem at school, but Gloria and Cameron are at odds over how he should handle it.
Claire has ideas for closets, but is apprehensive about pitching them to Jay and his creative team. Meanwhile, Phil creates a habitat for ducks while waiting for his eggs to hatch, though no one else shares his enthusiasm; Gloria and Manny help out with each other's crushes; and Cameron becomes overly friendly with the fraternity guys who are renting their upstairs unit.
Claire is excited to give Haley and Alex a great experience for "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day" but the staff is not making it easy, and Phil takes Luke and Manny's class out for community service day, which becomes a teachable moment in more ways than one. Elsewhere, Gloria is thrilled to be on jury duty leaving Jay to help out at Joe's pre-school and he is not happy about it at all. Cam and Mitch disagree over which of their friends to invite to their party, so could Gloria help mediate?
Claire and Phil have their hands full when Luke gets arrested for driving without a license, then they catch Alex sneaking out of a liquor store, but that's on top of Phil dealing with some personal insecurities. Elsewhere, Cam tries to convince Gloria to recreate and sell her family's hot sauce while Mitch helps Jay shoot a video to accompany his Titans of Industry award. And Haley and Dylan have an awkward encounter with Andy and Beth at the movies
Everyone is at Jay & Gloria's for post-Thanksgiving leftovers brunch and after a conversation about the sexy and sleek house that Phil is helping Mitch and Cam's friend sell, everyone gets the same bright idea to sneak in there and have a little "fun." Unbeknownst to one another they all choose the same day to go, and then it quickly escalates into a game of hide and hopefully don't get found. Meanwhile, back at Jay and Gloria's, Gloria has successfully stolen copies of everyone's drivers licenses during the brunch so Jay and her can buy them all a surprise family trip to Miami, but in actuality Jay has a surprise in store for Gloria, only to then get trumped by her surprise.
When the family participates in a group therapy session, skepticism is quickly replaced by high emotions.
Gloria's wish is for a lovely white Christmas with the family - now if only everyone else would just get with the program.
Claire and Phil have dinner plans with this great couple they met on vacation; the only problem is they never pick up the bill, so Claire insists Phil be strong this time and make them pay. Gloria organizes a playdate with a couple that appears to have a lot in common with them - they also have a young son Joe's age, but the husband is in his eighties and Jay takes it very personally. Elsewhere, Haley, Alex and Luke are surprised when Uncle Mitchell comes over to cash in on the birthday coupon they gave him for a belated celebration, so they scramble and end up on an impromptu tour of celebrity homes.
Sick of having the ducklings around the house, Claire and the kids seize an opportunity to help expedite the ducks leaving the nest while Phil is off visiting Alex at college. Meanwhile, Jay helps Mitch with Lily's sleepover with her friends from her Vietnamese dance troupe; and Gloria and Cam are off on a hot pepper heist carefully orchestrated by Manny in order to meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline.
Before Claire officially takes over Jay's closet business, she decides she must get the house in order and make the family clean out the clutter; unfortunately, Phil and Luke can't bear to part with anything, and Alex digs up old feelings when she finds Sanjay's sweatshirt. Newly into retirement, Jay decides to get a new hobby - piloting a plane - but the danger puts Cameron into a tailspin of worry. And elsewhere, Gloria wants to connect with Jay more and decides to pick up his favorite game of golf, and ropes Mitchell into teaching her.
Now that Claire has been running the closet business for a while, she and Phil have fallen into a new rhythm, with Claire assuming the role of the wheeling and dealing breadwinner and Phil as the invisible housewife, but Phil will not stand for being ignored and underappreciated for long. Meanwhile, Jay lets his jealousy get the best of him when a life-size cutout of Gloria for her grocery store hot sauce display solicits all kinds of unsavory attention from men, so he enlists Manny as his accomplice in a poorly orchestrated heist. And, Cam and Mitch are being extra hospitable to get better reviews for their rental property, but when the new renters start acting undeniably suspicious, they can't help but snoop.
A huge thunder storm brings wide power outages and the whole family congregates at Jay and Gloria's to use their generator, but Jay has one foot out the door desperately trying to make it to a reunion with some old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Phil tries to be the hero and redeem himself after a very embarrassing public panic attack earlier, but only causes more headaches for everyone. Mitch and Cam grasp at straws trying to salvage Lily's birthday party where the most popular girl at school is in attendance, and Haley turns up the seduction efforts with Andy.
Claire has somehow turned into super mom, running Jay's closet business and yet still has time for all the duties at home. The kids could not be happier, but Phil could not be more frustrated. Unbeknownst to him, Claire has a secret weapon called a personal assistant. Meanwhile, Joe is going through a fussy phase, and Jay and Gloria are beyond sleep deprived, so they both cut some corners that they know the other would not like and go to great lengths not to get caught. And Mitch and Cam are treated like second-class guests at their friends' wedding, which Pepper has organized, and they spend the whole time figuring why and who they offended.
Phil has a new client who happens to be "his type," and knowing that might get him in trouble with Claire, he tells some seemingly innocent lies, which then lead to more, and soon enough he's in a full spiral. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects her yoga instructor has the hots for her and asks Claire to come with her to class, but the instructor ends up giving Claire a lot of inappropriate attention, and she likes it. Now that Jay is retired, he is filling up his time making a web show but becomes obsessed with tracking down a hateful troll who is leaving horrible comments. And Mitch and Cam try to teach a skittish Lily how to ride a bike by leading by example, but easier said than done.
Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire; the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired but try to push through it. Meanwhile, Jay has taken over their bathroom remodel, which proves to be pretty hazardous for Gloria, Manny and Joe. Cameron's sister Pam is staying at the house after her husband has left her, but her emotional outbursts are driving Mitchell crazy, and he's afraid it's setting a bad example for Lily. And Haley and Andy go on a wild night bender.
Manny and Luke are in charge of babysitting Lily so that the adults can enjoy a day to themselves. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out at the movies; and Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight. Things start going awry though when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, and Claire is convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party.
Claire brings home a stray dog and gets the kids to help her hide it from Phil while she tries to find its owner. Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. Elsewhere, Gloria invites a new couple over even after Jay has made it clear he doesn't want to make any new friends, but when the husband turns out to be a real guy's guy, Jay might be eating crow. And Cameron rents out their upstairs apartment to a Christian rock band.
With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria confront Auntie Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work, and with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his "promposal" while Cam helps with Manny's, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there maybe something deeper going on.
Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good but his overenthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself.
Claire can't seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while, back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to reenter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitch butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City.