When Stan tries to trick Steve into attending summer camp, things go horribly wrong and Steve ends up in a refugee camp. However, Stan, being the eternal optimist, joins Steve and manages to stage a camp Olympics between the refugees and the rebel faction living across the river.
When Steve announces that he finally has a girlfriend, Stan could not be a prouder father. But when Stan realizes that she is not the petite cheerleader he was expecting, his obsession with physical appearance spirals out of control and he develops anorexia. Steve comes to recognize that his overweight girlfriend is the root of his father's problems and he has to make a hard choice in an effort to save his father's life.
Stan, the CIA's best interrogator, loses his confidence and his job when a car salesman gets the best of him in a negotiation. To get even, Stan comes up with an elaborate scam that temporarily costs his family their integrity. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve set up a makeshift drive-in to try to get to first base with popular schoolgirls .
Stan has his heart set on speaking at the Republican National Convention on behalf of the Langley chapter, but when they pass him up for another candidate, Stan decides to look for other angles and accepts an endorsement from the local gay chapter of Republicans. While the people around him disapprove of his new lifestyle choices, Stan decides to follow his heart and speak on their behalf.
After Francine tells Stan she's looking for excitement in their marriage, Stan gets in the driver's seat and becomes involved in drag racing to spice things up. Meanwhile, Hayley breaks up with her boyfriend, Jeff, who is emotionally crushed until he joins Steve's world of online gaming. When Hayley finds out, she tries to sabotage their fun.
When Steve's new relationship with his girlfriend gives Francine empty nest syndrome, she tries to convince Stan to have another baby. Meanwhile, Roger tries to enroll in college with Haley in order to experience college life, but while Roger ends up teaching the class, Haley finds a new crush in her classmate Ethan (Elijah Woods), who turns out to be far from normal.
Francine discovers that Stan has been hiding a secret passion for competitive figure skating for the past 20 years. Instead of demeaning him, Francine decides to support him and joins him as his pairs partner - until Stan's competitive nature gets the best of him and he ditches her for a new partner. Meanwhile, Steve's classmate Snot finds new respect among his peers when he parades his new mail-order bride around the playground.
When Roger helps Steve see that his father isn't as smart as he always believed, the power-hungry pair set their sights on fame and fortune in New York City. It doesn't take long for Roger to lose everything on Wall Street, and Steve contemplates prostitution after Jon Stewart shoots down his comedy routine. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is certain that the two have just run away to the tree house, so when it explodes in a lightning storm, they are devastated but console themselves with Steve's college fund.
Lisa Kudrow Guest-Stars When an injunction prevents Langley Falls from lighting their annual Christmas tree, Stan blames secular non-believers for ruining his favorite holiday. With Stan's holiday spirit at an all-time low, the Ghost of Christmas Past (Lisa Kudrow) visits him and tries to show him the true meaning of Christmas. However, Stan is convinced that Christmas can be saved by changing the outcome of Vietnam, but finds that changing the past only dramatically changes the future.
When Stan enters an essay-writing contest to have his personal hero, President Bush, come over for dinner, he is overcome with joy when the President arrives at his doorstep. However, not everyone in the Smith family shares Stan's excitement. Haley tries to drill Pres. Bush on the Iraq war, and Steve and Roger attempt to convince him that they've found Osama Bin Laden but instead get him drunk after 15 years of sobriety. Stan tries to save the President from public humiliation while Haley revels in his fall from glory.
When Stan feels like he's not climbing the ladder fast enough at the work, he turns to his lifelong ambition of making festive teddy bears. However, when he realizes that making a quick profit takes a lot of work, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor. Meanwhile, Haley sees her father's new business model as an atrocity and takes matters into her own hands by calling Uncle Sam.
When Roger is rejected by Steve, who seems to be 'over him,' Roger heads out in search of a new human companion. But when this new friend starts to abuse Roger and the relationship turns into a lot of excuses and sorry's, Steve and Haley scheme to get Roger out of the bad relationship and back home where he belongs. Meanwhile, Stan tours the Mr. Pibb factory and meets the man himself.
While researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that's been going on since the Civil War. When the curator of the Smithsonian Peanut Museum reaches out to tell Steve the truth, he's mysteriously murdered, and Steve and Stan are tracked by a secret society that will stop at nothing to keep this scandalous secret of American history.
When Stan arrives late to a CIA nuclear drill and thinks it's real, he moves the family to the mountains to survive the perceived apocalypse. Even after he realizes his error, he's enjoying the attention from the family so much that he doesn't tell them the truth. However, when the family meets a mountain man and learns the truth, Stan has some explaining to do.
Stan sets Bullock up with a friend of Francine's but, dreading to hear Francine tell him 'I told you so,' Stan goes to great lengths to make sure the date goes well by getting everyone drunk. Unfortunately, Bullock accidentally kills the woman and Stan covers it up and then frames Francine so that she'll stop asking questions.
When Stan discovers that Francine has a secret sex garden, he feels like their marriage might be on shaky ground. Hoping to rekindle the romance, Francine insists on a divorce so that Stan can experience life as a bachelor again, and both learn a valuable lesson in love. Meanwhile, Steve becomes addicted to an energy drink and finds himself panhandling in the streets to support his habit.
When Stan brings home special equipment from the CIA to eavesdrop on conversations, he discovers how his neighbors really feel about him. To get back at them, Stan has the entire neighborhood evicted in order to live free of any criticism. However, when an unexpected friend comes to his rescue, he realizes that gossip is a two-way street.
When Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to the slaughterhouse, he recounts his story of how the ordeal started out as a quest to make Steve "a man". Meanwhile, Rodger starts a cat fight between Francine and Haley after he unintentionally gives one a little more attention.
When Roger finds out that Hayley's boyfriend, Jeff, is wanted in Florida for smuggling marijuana, he and Stan turn into bounty hunters and chase Jeff across the country. However, when the truth behind the matter is revealed, Roger is left with his tail between his legs and Stan steps in to offer some fatherly advice. Meanwhile, Steve gets shocked trying to hot-wire Francine's car and is cursed with a gift.