Thwarted in their efforts to secure dates for the upcoming high school prom, Steve (Scott Grimes) and Snot (guest voice Curtis Armstrong) turn to the CIA's cloning machine to churn out two willing ladies. But, when the device produces two uber-fast-growing newborn babies, the boys must break out their fathering skills to ready them in time for prom night. Meanwhile, Stan (Seth MacFarlane) takes home the CIA's cloned pet, Daren the Dodo, with disastrous consequences.
Francine's "Poltergasm" starts to haunt the Smith household when she is unsatisfied by Stan in the sack, and Roger must conjure a medium named Zelda Rubinstein to help eliminate the ghost. Meanwhile, Hayley introduces her new boy-toy, Mauricio (guest voice Diego Luna), to the family.
Steve is eager to prove that he's no longer a little boy, so he sets off to prove his manhood by joining Stan, Bullock (guest voice Patrick Stewart) and the rest of the CIA on their annual hunting trip. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus set off on a cross-country road trip.
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. B when their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
Determined to get Snot (guest voice Curtis Armstrong) to confront his emotions after his father passes away, Steve and friends embark on an epic cross-country road trip to the funeral. But Steve's commitment to his friend wavers when he falls for a Pixie Dream Girl (guest voice Zooey Deschanel) along the way. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger invent an automatic cake-cutter for the Home Shopping Network, but their partnership is tested when they only make a "verbal agreement" to split the profits.
In this "Breaking Bad" parody, Hayley tries to fit in with a popular group of her former high school friends and, in the process, discovers Steve has an amazing ability to create incredibly realistic fake IDs. Sensing a business opportunity, Hayley builds out Steve's operation, but they don't count on having to deal with the other kingpin of the Langley Falls fake ID game: Kevin Ramage (Roger in disguise).
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus (guest voice Glover), a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.
Roger suffers a horrific car crash as he tries to take a picture of his crotch on a traffic speed cam. After waking up from a coma, he starts to have eerie visions of the future, and saves the Smiths from a terrible fire. But, Roger's abuse of his newfound powers soon draws the ire of his fellow family members and the Smiths must learn to cope with the uncertainty of the future.
Francine is eager to re-live the Smith kids' childhood theme park adventures on a family visit to "Familyland." But, when the nefarious and cryogenically-frozen founder of the theme park, Roy Family (guest voice John Veiner), is mistakenly thawed, the Smiths find themselves prisoners of the medieval-themed park.
Stan mixes up his nighttime routine after his 100th kill, but mistakenly unleashes a "good" Stan in his sleep - Jekyll & Hyde-style - who's hell-bent on pursuing all the good deeds that real Stan would never consider, and stopping him from ever killing again.
Stan attempts to infiltrate the "Occupy" movement, based on CIA intelligence that a leftist cell is planning a terrorist attack. But when he's captured and returned home by a group of radicals, Hayley suspects her father may have been "turned".
Stan fears that Hayley has no life skills, so he forces her to take a job as a bartender in Roger's attic haunt. However, when Bullock (guest voice Patrick Stewart) becomes Hayley's best customer, Stan realizes that he can use his daughter's knowledge to get ahead at work.
Stan's co-workers at the CIA teach him about "rubbernecking," the art of checking out other women on the sly, away from the gaze of their wives. But when Stan causes a massive accident in an attempt to take a picture of an attractive jogger, he's interviewed by an intimidating insurance inspector (guest voice Terry Crews) who may rat out Stan to Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus spill wine on the Smiths' brand new couch, and vow never to tell the other family members by sitting on the stained spot for the rest of their lives.
Stan is fired from the CIA in a round of budget cuts, but since his 20 years of work experience are classified and hidden from his "permanent record", the only job he's able to land is at the local grocery store where Steve is the manager. Meanwhile, Roger bets an annoying coffee shop musician (guest voice Robin Thicke) that he can outplay him in one week. To accomplish his goal, he enters into a Faustian bargain with Lorenzo (guest voice Stanley Tucci), a guitar-instructing infomercial host.
Hayley starts an internship at a local news station working for a Nancy Grace-type reporter, who happens to be Roger in disguise. T.J. Miller, Nat Faxon and Josh Groban guest-voice.
A year after Jeff's (guest voice Jeff Fischer) abduction, Hayley is still heartbroken, until she meets Millionaire Matt Davis (guest voice Pete Holmes), who may be able to help her move forward. Things are going great, until Steve and Snot (guest voice Curtis Armstrong) catch a signal on a CB radio - Jeff's alive in space and trying to make it back to Hayley.